Hoping....hoping.....

It has been almost a month since I have posted. For those of you who do not know, several days after receiving Thi’s picture, name, birth date, etc., and supplying our Letter of Acceptance at lightning speed, we were informed things had suddenly come to a halt. A short time after that, we learned the adoption might not happen. It is a political matter and I won’t go into the details, but the bottom line is we still have faith everything will work out.

It’s hard to explain the bond that happens instantaneously the first time you view your child. Being told several days later you might not get her is similar, though not the same thing, to seeing your baby’s ultrasound picture, then being told she might not make it, and with the knowledge she might not “make it”, you wonder how you will feel about not knowing where she goes, or stays. And you wonder how you will feel if you no longer feel her, though you know that will never be the case.

Now I only allow myself peek at Thi Thi’s photo when I’m feeling particularly macho. Constantly seeing her sweet face “slightly” smiling at me through framed 5x7’s at every turn in my house reached the point where I felt like I was torturing myself having Thi’s photos arranged so, so I had to take them down. Still, viewing her picture has never done anything but make me smile, and there is not a day that goes by that I do not look at her in amazement and with intense hope that we will be allowed to adopt her. Even with the knowledge that she might not come home to us, that confident little face seems to hint to me that she’ll be aok no matter what.

My heart goes out to the 31 other families in this situation. And especially my 3 friends with babies waiting in the same orphanage as Thi, who have helped me get through this tough time.

Corey and I were supposed to be traveling in December, but rather than a long trip to Vietnam, we’re taking a short trip to the Bahamas. As a matter of fact, at this very moment Corey is coming home from Florida to catch the flight with me in the morning. It appears my company intends to spoil us while we’re there, so we certainly are looking forward to the diversion. And on the bright side, we’ll be closer to the equator, so we’ll be closer to Thi.